Three months ago today, my first child was born. And in just two short days, it will make three months that he's been in heaven. It is still so surreal. I never in a million years thought that I would bury a child. I am reminded of one of my favorite songs from when I was in high school by Soul Union. It's called "Why I Smile" and talks about how Jesus came to earth, he traded his crown of glory for a crown of thorns and was crucified. Then it says, "You see that death did not hold him. Death where's thy stain? The devil tried to dethrone him, but he's risen as King!"
That is how I feel.... that there is a big stain left on my life. And, just like a stained shirt, my life will never look the same way again. But there's the problem. I don't want anyone to look at my life and see a stained up old t-shirt. Yes it has character, and it may even get comfortable, but it keeps you from seeing the shirt as it should be. I want to some day look back on my life and say, "Death, Where's my stain?" I want to look back and see the beauty God has created from the ashes. I want my life to look more like an old patchwork quilt. Stitched together with the utmost care and love by my Creator, soft and warn from love in some areas, an held together with tough threads of determination in others, and plum worn out from use. I want to use the heck out of my life. I am not promised tomorrow and I have a lot of living, a lot of giving, and a lot of praising left to do. How will I ever let the light of God shine through me, if I allow myself to become all stained up by this awful thing called death?
Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful!
I know that....... well I'm trying to.
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