Beauty will rise

What a wonderful day to see his beauty rise! 

 

Joy comes in the morning.... and the morning is here!

             Not that there hasn't been so much joy come from Hank's life. Because that little boy brings me so much joy! And the path I have walked since Hank left my arms for Heaven has been absolutely God led. I have met some amazing people because of Hank and I've been ministered to, and had the opportunity to minister like never before. I have a deeper understanding of Him, and longing to feel His closeness. Thank you God for everything you have given me to be able to survive this year. Thank you for all the love and support you have provided through your faithful followers.
              As we meet our crown of beauty this morning, I will be praising Him for the wonderful gift of both of my children!

May He be glorified today!

So Surreal

Well, the nursery is ready, it's just missing one little thing........ our baby girl. And she will be here Saturday June 23!

I cannot wait to see her in this crib!

           I was hoping to not have another c-section, but with my blood pressure creeping up, my doctors have agreed that it is best for her to make an appearance soon.  And, since I have had a previous c-section, they are not comfortable inducing labor. When you induce, contractions come much stronger than they do when you go into labor naturally and that increases the risk of your uterus rupturing at the old incision line. So, it is not the birth that I had hoped for, but I'm just so thankful that she will be here soon!
              I was also really hoping that she would share her brother's birthday.  I thought that would be so sweet. But, I guess he is meant to have his own special day. His birthday is coming up really soon, and I have started feeling anxious about how we will spend that day. And worried that nothing I do will be special enough. I am trying to let those feelings go though and not be anxious about what that day will be like, just  trust that we will know what to do when the time comes. 

              She isn't sharing her brother's birthday, but she is sharing someone else's birthday..... my Dad's! My sister and I were born on our Papaw's birthday, my husband was born on his Papa's birthday, and she will be born on her Pawpaw's birthday. That's pretty amazing : ).

              It just hardly seems real that she will be here Saturday. So much has happened this year that it's hard to process and its hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I will be holding her soon. I am so very thankful for all of your prayers this year, I hope you will continue to pray for her safe arrival. And I hope that you will pray for me as her mother, that I will teach her to love the Lord with all of her heart and to trust in Him completely.

Lorabelle- 

              264 days I have carried you, prayed for you, hoped for you. And now here I am, less than two days from meeting you and it is just so surreal. I cannot believe that you will be laying in my arms. It is a moment I have prayed for and hoped for, before you were even created. I cannot wait to kiss your cheeks, and hold your little feet, and look into your eyes. I can't wait to feed you and hold you, and change your diaper, and yes, even wake up in the middle of the night to see your pretty face. And I wish so badly that your big brother would be meeting you on Saturday, but what a wonderful day it will be when we are all together again in Heaven. I can't wait to tell you about him and show you his pictures. I thank God for you my little girl, my much anticipated crown of beauty. 
                                                                                                      Love,
                                                                                                       Momma

My Daughter's Name

I know that I have been promising this story for a long time... ok a really time. I've been praying for the words to write it so that God is fully glorified by this story so completely orchestrated by Him. So... here it is- just know that my words cannot do justice to the awesome ways in which He reveals Himself.

           After our son, Hank passed away, I was praying for God to speak more clearly to me as to how I was going to be able to keep going in my life. I prayed this daily, but was still skeptical that He would actually ever “answer” me. I have always kind of kept God in a box, confined by my ideas about how He works. I thought that He had done all the speaking He was ever going to do, long before I existed, and that if I expected to hear from Him, I would find it in His words in the Bible. 

         When I opened my Bible every day after Hank died, I prayed for God to help me to hear the words I needed to hear to get me through the day. My favorite scripture became Isaiah 61:3 ... to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. Before we knew Hank was a boy, one of the names we liked for a girl was Lorabelle. None of our family really liked the name, so we never agreed on a girl name. But, it turned out he was a boy, so we didn’t need it!.  

          One day, after reading my scriptures, I was thinking about the name Lorabelle and decided to look up it’s meaning. Lora means crown of laurel and belle means beauty. So, I felt like that was my promise, that I would have another child who would become my crown of beauty. That was the hope that got me through many, many hard days.  

                In October, we planned on doing Marathoning for Miracles in honor of Hank to raise money for Hendrick Children’s Hospital.  Just about a week before the event, we found out we were expecting our second child. Then, two days before the marathon, I was on my way to work and saw my dog out down the street. I was in a hurry, so I stopped and called her over and opened the car door and told her to get in. When I pulled back into my driveway, I saw my dog in the yard and looked back at the one in my back seat as I realized I had someone else's dog. I just remember laughing when I looked at the dog's face and realized she wasn't mine. And then I thought, oh boy- I hope Nathan thinks this is as funny as I do.... I put the dog in my garage so it wouldn’t get ran over and planned to find its owner as soon as possible so that my husband didn't kill me for bringing home another animal ( I already have 6).  

This is my dog Bella

And this is the dog I brought home thinking it was her.

               The next day, a bus full of ACU students going to Medina Children’s Home crashed and I found out that a sweet, sweet student named Anabel, who’d been emailing me and praying for me since Hank died, went to join our Savior. I was so sad to hear this news. 

              On Saturday, we had a big group gather to walk at the Marathon, and after it was over, we had the great pleasure of announcing to our family and friends that we were expecting another baby. Truly a blessing in timing and a hope for our future. 

              Sunday afternoon, we took the dog out walking the neighborhood again, looking for someone who had seen her before. We finally found some kids that new where she lived. The owner wasn't home, so we left him a note with our phone number. That night, we went to a service at the University Church of Christ to pray for all of those involved in the accident. On the way, we got a call from the dog's owner. We told him we'd bring her over after the service. I had been calling the dog Blue and Nathan had been making fun of me for it because she was a big red dog.  I told Nathan, "I bet her name really is Blue and you’re going to feel bad for making fun of me."

               We took her home and her owner was so excited to see her. I asked him what her name was….. and he said LORABELLE!! Nathan and I looked at each other and our mouths dropped open. We could not believe that this dog, who’d come to stay with us during the time when Anabel passed away, and we had more than 20 people gather to walk or run in Hank’s memory, and we announced to our families that we were having another baby, was Lorabelle. A reminder of our promise. Our promise of a crown of beauty. That day we were convinced that this baby, girl or boy, was our Lorabelle. Our crown of Beauty.  And I was convinced that He is not done. He has much more to say and to share. And he desires an intimate relationship with each one of us.

                I thought what a perfect way for Him to reach me. I love animals and he knew that I would not leave that dog on the side of the road. He knew I was skeptical.... so He made it so clear..... it was like He was saying "She cannot miss this"...... He knows me so well. He made all of these little pieces fall together so perfectly. His timing and His ways are perfect. He made us believe in Him and in His goodness in a whole new way. So, when those balloons came out of the box at our gender reveal party, it was no surprise that they were pink. 

            And now here we are.... just a short time from meeting our little crown of beauty, our Lorabelle.

Hank's Song

                In honor of Father's Day, I wanted to post the sweet song my husband wrote for our son. It's a song about all of the things we'd hoped for him, all of the things we imagined him doing, and all the things we will miss getting to see.
               Nathan is such an amazing Dad to our son.... being a Dad to a child in Heaven is not an easy job and he handles it with with such strength. He's already such a good Dad to our Lorabelle too. He takes such good care of his girls! I cannot wait to see him with her in his arms in just a few short weeks.... be still my heart!

Here is my talented husband singing about Hank....

Thanks to my very talented friend Cindy for making such an awesome video!

Hank's Well

              Remember when I told you about how our church family surprised us on Mother's Day by letting us know that they had all been contributing to a fund to have a well built in Hank's memory? Well I have some pictures of the well, and they are absolutely beautiful!! 

              The well was finished, and we were sent pictures within 2 weeks of them getting started on it. It was so fast! It's located in Uganda and provides clean drinking water to about 600 people! That's so amazing to me that because our little boy was so loved, 600 people that did not have access to clean water now do. I am so proud that his little life touched others to give and to improve the lives of others.

I love the look on the face of the little boy collecting water. He looks very mischievous and fun! 

                     It is  so cool to see Hank's name on a well so far away. And it is so cool to think about the people who come to visit this well daily, and to think about what their lives are like. I wonder if they see his name and wonder who he was... like I wonder about them. I wish I knew more about them. Like, what the papers are that they are holding.... so many of them are dressed alike that I wonder if it is a group of kids who took a break from school to come to the well. I wonder what kinds of things they are learning about.
 

 I just love seeing his name written.

I love this one.... she is just beautiful

 

                 I am so thankful to everyone who contributed in Hank's memory to do such an amazing thing...... What better way to honor a little child than by getting clean water to other children. My heart is full. 
                I hope to one day see this place in person and meet the people who drink from this well.


Luke 18: 16-17

But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. ¹⁷ Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

Hometown Baby Shower!

          Last Sunday, I had yet another baby shower... this time at my hometown church. My friend Heather and her mom, April, wanted to make sure that I had a shower there, so they and five other friends from church hosted the shower on Sunday afternoon at 4th and Elm. They did such a god job on all of the decorations... they were beautiful!

Here are the beautiful hostesses

I love the friendship my Mom has found in many of these women.

And the lovely women in my family

This is Heather and her mom April. I love them!

 My beautiful corsage

I was so glad to have my Mema there, but also so sad that my Gram wasn't with us. 

There were tons of presents.....

It is unbelievable how much this little girl is already spoiled.... almost as much as her Momma has been by all of her sweet friends : ) .

My mom even got a MeMe gift.

She was so excited!

It was so nice to be back in my hometown, visiting all of the people I grew up around. I need that more often!

And I loved hanging out with this girl... she is so fun, and funny, and creative, and giving! And I could tell you some really good stories about her. But I guess I won't since she was so nice and put together such an awesome shower : ).

We have been completely overwhelmed with the love shown to us and our little girl. It has amazed me.... and is teaching me how to be a better giver in so many ways. Thank you all for blessing our family in so many ways, I can only hope to one day be a small blessing for you!

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times you may abound in every good work. As it is written, ‘He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor; his righteousness endures forever.’ He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God.”

II Corinthians 9:8-12 (ESV)

I pray that God continues to teach me to recognize each and every one of my blessings, and to use them to bless others as so many have so richly blessed me!

Showered in Blessings

             A couple of weeks ago, my sweet coworker, Julie, hosted a shower for me at her house. It was mostly people who I'd worked with or came to know through ACU. Julie and her girls worked so hard on every little detail of the shower, making it all fit my personality. 

 I love the balloons and the stick horse.... and isn't her house cute??

Cute little cupcakes with cowboy hats!

 Delicious strawberry punch

Very pretty and very yummy lemonade cake made by Julie's daughter Mary Kate. She is such a talented baker. And, if you ever have a chance to eat her pound cake- do not pass it up!

Julie had all of the guests write in the little red journal a word for Lorabelle and some blessings that went along with that word. 

The world's cutest decorations.

I loved this little lady on her horse. Her name is Audrey and her horse's name was Morning Glory.... or Lightening Streak, or Astro.... well I don't exactly remember the horse's name, but it's cute!

We got started with a word of prayer, did a little talking to Lorabelle, and then ate some really good sandwiches. 

Then, we opened lots of pink presents!! She got so many nice things from everyone.... we are so blessed to be surrounded by such sweet, giving people!

After I was done opening presents, someone pulled up outside and Julie went out to meet her.

And when I realized who it was, I bawled like a big ole baby.

           Remember when I told you about sweet Anabel Reid? Well, it was her mom Shelly!!
What an amazing surprise! I was so humbled that she came to rejoice in this moment with me. Shelly actually had been preparing to spend this weekend remembering her daughter and looking through pictures with her close friends she was with when she heard the news of the accident. She said Julie asked her about coming and after praying about it, decided this was where she needed to be. She packed up her friends and brought them all to Abilene for their weekend of remembering her daughter. What an example of strength and grace this woman is to me. And how selfless of her to make this event so important as to move her whole weekend to Abilene. I should not really be surprised I guess.... Anabel had to learn from someone how to care so deeply for others. I was very touched to share this special evening with such a special woman. And though the grieving is so very different for someone who lost their child at two days old as opposed to at 19 years old, we both know that pain... 

Shelly brought some really sweet gifts with her... some really cute books, and an engraved bracelet with a little angel. I love it! Such a sweet gift. She also brought me a copy of Heaven is For Real, and asked that if I had already read it, to bless someone else with it. What a great reminder from her to bless others with the hearts we've been having molded by our experiences this year. 

We then got to spend some time in prayer. Julie had everyone gather around me and baby Lorabelle and they took turns praying over us. I cannot tell you how amazing that was, to be surrounded by all of those strong, Godly women who were praying for our health, our hurts, our happiness, my heart being healed, and giving thanks for so many blessings. I could truly feel the Holy Spirit with us and have never felt so surrounded by Him. It was an amazing experience that I will never forget.

        Thank you to my friend Cindy for all of the wonderful pictures to remember the evening by, and many many thanks to all of you who made it such a special day of blessings!