Tuesday, September 27, 2011

My baby died.....

            Yes....he died. Most people are afraid to say it. They say "Her baby passed away," or "She lost her son." Lost..... sometimes I even use that word, but I really don't like it. Why do people say that? Why do I say that? He's not lost.... I know exactly where he is, and he is happy, and loved, and safe in the arms of our savior. Praise God!
           I had a follow up for my foot surgery today, and am blessed to have a wonderful Christian man as a doctor. We were talking about Hank today and he even took the time to stop and look at some pictures of him. He is very sweet and sympathetic and has an aunt named Eva working for him that had a full term baby who was stillborn about 40 years ago; she still lives the pain. When we were talking about Hank, he said "I know this doesn't make things better, but he is in Heaven and he does not ever have to experience the trials and tribulations of this earth." I rejoice!
           Even so, he is gone..... and it's hard.... so, so hard. I was sitting outside watching my husband shoot the basketball, and Nathan let one of our beagles out of the yard to run around in the driveway. He picked her up, in one arm, high in the air while he shot with the other arm, and I was reminded of an old picture that I have of Nathan and his dad when he was probably around two. His Dad has Nathan raised high over his head, Nathan is holding on to the rim and the basketball is hanging just at the bottom of the net. I told Nathan it reminded me of that picture, and our thoughts immediately went to Hank. I bet we would have taken a thousand pictures just like this:

                      
Psalm 127:3 Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him.

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