Homesick

         

             This song says it so perfectly. I am just feeling so homesick. I have never longed for Heaven as I do now. This is not where I belong. I belong with my baby boy.
         I've heard people speak of this feeling before. A feeling of never being quite satisfied or filled by their life on earth. It wasn't something that I really understood before. Although Heaven has always been something I long for, I have never prayed...Lord come quickly, as I whole-heartedly do now. Heaven was an ultimate goal. One to follow a long, full, good life. If you asked me if I was ready to go to Heaven before, I probably would have said yes, but after I get married, or after.... fill in the blank. There was always something else I wanted to do before I'm called home.
         That's because I was living for a full earthly life. Now that a part of me is no longer living on this earth, I have a better understanding of what it's like to be unfulfilled by an earthly life. I long to be with him, to hold him, to kiss him, to see him again. I long to be in Heaven with him.
          Typing these words hurts. I see how I still long for the desires of my own heart. I should be filled with a longing for Jesus. For the day I will look into His eyes and fall to my knees in worship of Him. I desire to long for Heaven to meet my maker....not just to see my son again.
          But, there is the beauty in longing for Hank...... It is teaching me to long for Jesus like I never have before and His perfect and complete healing of my heart.


Philippians 3:20-21
For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ; who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself.