13 weeks and 6 months

Countdown: 26 weeks and 4 days to go!


Size: This little one will grow to about the size of a lemon this week.


Development: Movements are becoming more smooth and less jerky. The neck is growing longer and the body is straightening out. Also, his/her hair is growing! On the head, eyebrows, and the all over body hair for warmth. That body hair will fall out as body fat starts to accumulate.


Wight gain: lost 2 pounds, but had an ultrasound last week and the baby's size measured correct to the day! So good news!


Pregnancy symptoms: Less fatigue, still having some nausea, round ligament pains (yea!), and occasional dizziness. 


I went to my OB last Thursday and everything looks great. Baby measured perfectly, no protein in my urine, liver enzymes drawn at the last appointment were perfect, and my blood pressure was good. The little jumping bean was moving around a lot. Prayers for continued growth and for my blood vessels to remain relaxed are much appreciated.


Here are a couple of pictures of my cutie from the last ultrasound:

The machine in his office isn't great, so the pictures aren't either. My next appointment will be in 4-5 weeks with the maternal fetal medicine specialist. He has an awesome machine and we will likely be able to find out if we are having a boy or a girl. Place your bets. Nathan and I have both had dreams that it was a boy. But.... I have a really amazing story that makes me think otherwise ( I will share another time).


Today also marks a special day for my Hank. He is six months old today. I wish more than anything with my selfish heart that we were celebrating this milestone with him here on earth. Just looking at those words makes me feel like a bad mom. How could I wish for him to endure the trials of earth when he is in paradise in the arms of his Creator? But I do want it....... more than anything. We survived Christmas without him. It was not fun, nor was it easy. We showed up where we were supposed to and exchanged the gifts we were supposed to. But, my heart was not there. Neither was my head half of the time. And though I know that I am so blessed to be carrying another child already, I am sometimes overwhelmed by the fact that no matter how many other children I have, my heart will always have this hole. There will always be someone missing at Christmas. 


Happy 6 months my baby boy. I miss you more that my words can ever express. 
I love you like crazy,
Momma


Ecclesiastes 3: 1-22
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; ...

12 Weeks

Well, I never did get around to posting an 11 week update and I can't believe week 12 is here already!


Countdown: 28 Weeks to GO!




Size: The baby will reach 3 inches this week- about the size of a peach




Development: All over growth in the body this week, the placenta is growing and getting ready to take over nourishing the baby (Whattoexpect.com).  This week, our prayers should be for safe and complete movement of the intestines from their umbilical cavity to the stomach and the development of vocal chords that will give this little one a sweet little voice.




Weight Gain: None that has stuck so far. There are two pounds that come and go, but haven't hung around. But.... no more loss these past two weeks!




Pregnancy Symptoms: Still a little nauseous, some days are worse than others. Still exhausted, but that should get better in the next couple of weeks as I move in to the second trimester. Still have a sore chest, and a new one.... my absolute favorite...... round ligament pains! I really do like them, I'm not just being sarcastic. For every one of those little pains I have, I celebrate. I celebrate because I know that it means that my uterus and my baby are growing! And there just isn't any better feeling than that.


Thank you for your prayers! I've had a peace about this pregnancy that I didn't think was going to be possible, and I know it's because I'm being lifted in daily prayers.

Thanks-Living

           Bad things happen in life. It is through experiencing great sadness that you can truly experience great joy. Sad things happen to us. Sad things happen to our friends and sometimes we take them on as our own sadness. And soon, if you're not careful, you're counting your sorrows and not your blessings. There is thankfulness in all things. Sometimes its hard to see the thanks through the hurt or the sadness or the anger. It is so easy to go through life, forgetting to thank God for all that he gives us. He gives so much that we just take for granted.
I read a book this summer called  One Thousand Gifts. It was kind of hard to get into at first because her writing style is so different. But the message was amazing, and much needed.  It is the author's story of her journey to living thankfulness. A journey that started by a challenge to write down one thousand things she was thankful for. She began to look for thanks in all things and to her surprising she found it.....everywhere.

 

His desire for us it to be thankful, lifting hands in praise to Him for all that he gives. 


2 TIMOTHY 3:1-2
1 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come:
2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy.
We can get to that point so easily, becoming so wrapped up in ourselves....our idea of what will make us happy, our selfishness. 


I love listening to one of the little boys at my church pray. He thanks God for the day, for the people we are with, and of all things.....the trees that give us oxygen. He is 8. We think we are teaching them.... but oh, the things they teach us.
1 THESSALONIANS 5:18
18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 
This is my desire, and what I'm trying to make my focus this holiday season. This Christmas is going to be so difficult. I just want to close my eyes and let it pass by without me. It seems so much easier than dealing with the pain of Hank's absence. It's funny how the absence of someone can take up so much space in a room.
Every year, the day after Thanksgiving, my house is decorated inside and out for Christmas. Even my kitchen and bathrooms are decorated. I love the lights and how my house feels with a Christmas tree lit up in the window. This year, it looks so different. No tree. No lights. No Christmas potholders. No peppermint candle burning. No Christmas wreaths or door mats. No Hank.
What should have been our first Christmas together, has turned into our first Christmas without him. And it is so, so hard not to focus on that huge absence of such a small little boy. But there is still thankfulness. I'm thankful for the time we did have together. Thankful for the precious look Hank gave me when he recognized my voice. Thankful for all that Jesus has taught me since he died, and how He has held me upright through this. I'm thankful for reasons to smile. Thankful for the picture my sister sent me of Hank's ornament on her tree. I'm thankful that even though I can't do that for him this year, that she made sure he was remembered at her house. I'm thankful for my family's patience and love as I struggle to keep on living without him. I'm thankful for the most wonderful, understanding husband. God could not have given me a better gift than him. I am thankful for new life, for eternal life, and for the hope that brings.
My hope is that no matter what your struggles are this holiday season, financial struggles, loneliness, loss, guilt, unhappiness, physical pain, or emotional pain..... that you find thankfulness and that it fills you.

10 Weeks

Today, I am 10 weeks along in my pregnancy. This little baby has so many people praying for it daily, and for that we are so thankful and feel so blessed. I have had several people who pray for our baby daily ask what exactly they need to be praying for. Little hands or feet, eyes or ears? So, I decided to update you every week as to what is developing, so that if you are one of the sweet people praying for this little one, you will know what body parts to pray for.

Countdown: 30 weeks to go!

Size: The baby will be growing from 1 1/2 in, to about 2 in by the end of the week

Development: This week hair follicles are forming and nail beds are forming. Growth is occurring all over, but especially the head which is half the size of the body. The body is lengthening and straightening out. 

Weight gain: down 2 pounds this week. Trying to make the things I do eat count. I'm making myself eat vegetables that I don't care for, eat lots of protein, and drink lots of milk. Hopefully my appetite will improve in the second trimester.

Pregnancy symptoms: nausea, sore chest, need to get up several times in the night to go to the bathroom, and absolute exhaustion. I am thankful for each and every one of these symptoms that remind me there is a little one growing inside me.

Thank you again for each and every one of your prayers. I am so humbled by them, and so so grateful for them. I will leave you with a couple of pictures of my little angel.

                                     This was at 5weeks and 5 days. Just a round, black spot.

Here is the baby at 8 weeks and 3 days. Just under an inch long, little heart beating away, and already moving around in there!

You can still see the cyst that is feeding the baby until the placenta fully develops. It is the round thing to the left of the baby.

With Hank, I didn't have my first OB visit until I was 13 weeks. So I didn't get to see all of these first stages of development. He was already a big, kicking squirming baby by then. Dr. Ogdee and I didn't realize I was that far along, and when he scanned me he said, "Dang, this baby is huge!" So, it is kind of neat to see this baby develop from merely a big ball of cells, into a baby. I'm so ready for it to be big and feel it moving already though. Every day, Nathan says "I just can't wait till she's here. (He's sure its a girl.) This is going to be the longest 9, 8, and now 7 1/2 months of my life!"

I'm praying for peace and patience as we wait for our little one to arrive.

1 Peter 5:6-7  Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,  casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Thankful

This handsome little boy....

   

                                                        Is going to be a big brother!!
       
       
         Yep, I am 9 weeks pregnant with our second child. Such a sweet gift of hope from the One who loves us most. And we are so, so thankful for that gift. Thank you for all of your prayers, and I hope that you will pray for this new life and for us as we continue to struggle without Hank and still have joy for our second child.


Thank you Lord, for this amazing tiny life growing inside me. Thank you for for holding true to your promise.... the promise for a crown of beauty.

Soul Ache

        I just left the University Church of Christ where we spent time in praise and in prayer for all of those involved in the horrible accident on Friday. My heart aches for all of those involved, but especially for Anabel's mom as my heart so recently knows the hurt of loosing a child. 
        I had the pleasure of meeting Anabel at ACU. She and I connected over donkeys. Yes donkeys. We both have a love for animals, and she was telling me last spring about how she and her brother were planning on raising donkeys that summer. And I was telling her that one of the first things I'm going to do when I move to the country, is buy a donkey. She said, "Really? I'm going to give you a donkey when you move. I can't wait!" So sweet. She and I struck a friendship up. I didn't see her often around campus, but she would send me little emails and brighten up my day with her sweet words and her genuine interest in my life and my happiness.
           About the middle of July this summer, she sent me a message to ask how my summer was going. It being God's perfect timing, it was just weeks after my sweet Hank had passed away. I told her about him, and the moment she got that email, she wrote me on her heart and continued to carry me there over the next months. She emailed me to check on me, encourage me, and pray for me. 
           One day at chapel after I had gone back to work, I was having a particularly hard day. I wept through the entire service and afterward was surrounded by my coworkers comforting me. And do you know who else surrounded me? Yes, sweet Anabel. She patiently stood there waiting to comfort me. When our hug and conversation got interrupted by others wanting to hug me, she did not give up and leave. She stayed and waited..... she had more to say.
          She hugged me tight, with tear-filled eyes, aching for her friend who hurt. She told me that she loved me, she was praying for me, and said with such sincerity that she would do anything to help me. This sweet girl, who had not even known me for long, let her heart be stained by my hurt and my tears. She wanted to carry some of that burden for me. 
          She continued to email me, encourage me. One of the last things she wrote to me was, "I know that I am just a student here on campus, but I will always be here for you and hope that you know that I will do anything I can to help you, even if you just need someone to listen." I told her she wasn't just a student..... she was amazing. 
          It isn't at all surprising to me that what she was doing when she passed away, was going to serve. She truly had a servant's heart.
          God we hurt, and we just don't understand sometimes why life has to be so hard. We don't understand why such an amazing person with so much to give had to go so soon. It just doesn't make since that this needs to be the plan, when she had so many more lives left touch on this earth. Lord, please help us to desire your good and perfect will be done. Lord please be with Anabel's mother, and father, and her brother who are missing her so much. Lord, please help to ease Mrs. Reid's soul ache, the one I know all too well. Please carve her name on our hearts, just as she did mine. And Lord please send her our love, and make sure she meets Hank, that little boy she cried over with me.
          Anabel always ended her emails to me with Blessings, Anabel. Thank you Anabel, for your blessings. I have truly been blessed by you. 

Just two more days....

          In just a couple of days, we will be participating in marathoning for miracles. A sweet, sweet lady named Wendy and her coworker Robyn, approached me after chapel on a day that I was really struggling. I sat there trying to sing songs of praise, but I just could not stop the tears that flowed down my face. She came to me after, told me that she loved me and thinks about me all the time, and then began to tell me about Marathoning for Miracles. It's a race to raise money for Hendrick Children's Hospital to help children right here in Abilene.
         So, she set up a facebook page and set a goal of 2 relay teams for the race. Invitations to the event were sent out, and those people sent the invitation on to others, and soon, we had 4 teams of five and 2 running a half marathon. That is 22 people walking/running for Hank. Just amazing....
One of Wendy's student workers, Garrett, who had not even met me at the time, designed some amazing t-shirts for us. Don't I work with a wonderful group of people?? Here are the shirts!

          The verse is Luke 18:16 "These children are the Kingdom's pride and Joy."The pictures don't do them justice. My photo taking skills are....well, awful. Don't worry though, I have an awesome photographer friend that will be taking pictures at the event on Saturday so I will have some great pictures to show you. Her name is Cindy Gravitt of Gravitt productions and she's the best! Oh, and she works with me at ACU too. I know, I'm a lucky girl to work with such amazing people.


          The registration fees for our teams and individual runners totaled $1,260, all going to Hendrick Children's Hospital. That amount is awesome! But my sweet sister wanted to do more. She set a goal to raise $1,000 to make an extra donation in Hank's name. She sent out fliers to who knows how many people, sent them out on facebook, and propositioned friends. 


And guess what???


We are almost there!


$775 donated by friends, family, and even strangers.


       So, when we reach our goal, we will have a total of....  $2,260 being donated in Hank's name! I am so proud, and so, so thankful! This money will go to help children in Abilene, TX who need medical care.
       So, I just wanted to say THANK YOU! To everyone who is helping or supporting us in any way. I can't tell you how much it means to me. It is so awesome to know that the money raised in memory of my baby boy will go to help other children right here in our very town.
        Praise God for good friends who do good things in His name and to help honor and remember my sweet Hank.